Dear Self
I can’t tell you why they stopped calling. I can’t tell you why they stopped inviting you. I can’t tell you why they kept things from you as though it was “for your own good,” when in reality the secrecy and disrespect of not telling you hurt far worse. I can’t tell you why the ones you always thought would have your back would instead abandon you when you needed them most. I can’t tell you.
But what I can tell you is that it’s NOT because you are unworthy. It’s NOT because you don’t matter. It’s NOT because you did something to deserve it.
Because the Truth is, you ARE worthy. You DO matter. And NOTHING you could ever do can cause our Heavenly Father to turn His back on you.
Run to Him. Put your trust in Him. Cry and pour out your heart to Him.
And when the time is right, He’ll help you to understand that the pain you feel from that rejection will make you a better friend. It will make you a better wife. It will make you a better mom. And it will make you more like the One who was rejected and paid the price so that you might spend eternity with no pain.
“As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.” 1 Peter 2:4-5 ESV
If I’m completely honest, I’ve been like Jonah fleeing in the opposite direction of Nineveh far more times in my life than I’d care to admit; sensing God’s direction, but instead choosing to follow my own tightly held plans.