Not A Writer

You know, it’s funny how God works sometimes. When I was young, my dreams of who and what I wanted to be 100% had to do with either how much money I’d make or how good I would look.

As I allowed myself to be drawn into God’s presence more and more, I realized the error in dreams such as those. The intent behind them was purely selfish, and I’m grateful everyday that I wasn’t given those desires of my heart.

But after abandoning selfish dreams I found myself landing in a place where I felt as though I wasn’t allowed to dream for anything more. It was years before I recognized that it is God’s desire for us to dream, and dream BIG, but to do so keeping Him at the center of it all. It’s those dreams that He places in our hearts that are what He desires to give to us.

Interestingly, I have never considered myself “a writer,” and yet three years ago I started a blog. It’s now sat with old, never updated content for almost two of those three years. It was exciting when I started it, but then each time I went to write something for it, nothing came. I am now recognizing that WHAT I thought I was supposed to be writing wasn’t what God wanted me to be writing.

My dream now, is to seek Him with all I am and for Him to make it abundantly clear how I am to use my words. That I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my dream is His dream for me. Because it’s only then that He will give me the desires of my heart.

I still don’t consider myself a writer, but I am realizing more and more that my story, my experiences, my insight might just be what He is going to use to help someone else.

I have felt a strong desire to work with women through ministry of some sort in the last year (to the point I cry whenever I talk about it and I don’t like to cry!).

Maybe, just maybe, writing is the method. I am confident in this, though. Whatever good work He has started in me, He will see it to completion as long as I keep seeking Him and stay out of my own way. ‬‬